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when i was walking up the steps to my room i hit my head on the collapsing ceiling n a chunk of wall fell into the cup of milk for my cookies. oh look, happy thanksgiving.

Don't ask what's wrong with me

Last night I had a dream that Bill Clinton was fingering me in my mom's room. Bill, you dog you!
My days are long, and filled with attentiveness, lots of work, and a comforting bowl pack every so hours. Today I came home from school, went food shopping, took care of the kids, started my homework on the roof while listening to Miles Davis and Tom Waits, had a short of a cigarette, and now I'm about to go back to work. I've cut down on smoking tremendously after I smoked an entire pack in one night. I am eating healthier, doing more with my life, and debating on being vegan again. Hm!!! On the bad side, I think I lost $10. On the good side, I'm buying and O Friday. Work again.

PS- You will get what you deserve, I promise.

Sep. 9th, 2008

Whenever I want to remember anything, I write it down on a little piece of paper that has a kitty in the corner and tape it to somewhere where I will see it. The thing is I do this all the time, so now I have little pieces of paper taped to everything in my house. I feel like I'm in Momento. Tomorrow is my third day of school and this week is taking forever. I'm going to bed though, and I'm so excited.

I Love You

School Almost Starts

I realize a lot of really insignificant things will bother me and upset me that no one else would ever bother to remember.

Today I did not do much. I drew all day earlier, and when nighttime came I cooked dinner and while waiting for m chicken to back, I listened to Patti Smith, This American Life (thanks jaim), and sad sad love songs for no apparent reason really, and did the dishes.
I listened to the Smiths and remembered (not that Id forgotten) but realized again my total infatuation with Morrissey. It's funny how something so sad makes you feel good. God, I love you Morrissey!
Tomorrow I start school and it feels like it never even ended. I want to cry, but this year I won't fuck everything up. I'm not ready to say "bye" to summer yet, so I'm not going to.

Dyed my hair, all one color! OMGZ!-
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

...it looks a lot more red and delicious in the light, can't really tell through pictures.

kill me

sometimes i really hate you, stop being pathetic. but i don't. lisa got thrown out, drowning in booze all day at a motel and calling me crying for help. mom and boyfriend have been fighting all day long. i have 14 assignments to do in 8 days. get away from me. one of my best friends is moving to nebraska/ i start school in a couple days. i need to catch a train shortly. i want to hang myself. i feel like i am falling apart, except for when i'm with three people. and one seems to break my heart every other day. all i want is adderall and weed to buy off someone within the hour. i still need to pack my bags. i want to disappear for 45 minutes.

Motherfuck, I Will!

I want to get back into photography, and drawing my ass off. Starting today. I also need to read two books and sort if get my life togther. This should start by not being drunk all of the time,. I'll start that one evntually. I already quit smoking cigarettes, started riding my bike more and eating healthier. I guess it sort of cancels out if I'm smoking weed daily along with drinking. Chill brahhh! I'm learning to let things, and PEOPLE(!) go. Yes! I think it's funny how I can get over people in two minutes if I just think real hard. Or maybe I'm just psychotic. Probably. Gettin' mo' bitta bitta bittta bittaaa.
Today was probably the most embarrassing day of my life.